This week I built a bookcase, and it came out pretty well. But in the final third of the project, in which I prime the surfaces before finish painting, I spent a good 5 hours nose-to-nosing with Sherwin-Williams’ finest oil-based paint. I knew it would be stinky (this isn’t my first rodeo), but gosh this particular particulate infested my nasals something fierce. In fact, I think I got a bit of a chemical high from the fumes – totally not worth it, because I was trying to concentrate through the headache-edged fog. Plus which, my usually-delectable Wendy’s Single with Cheese combo tasted like paint. And I can’t have that. Recalling it now, my cocktail tastes vaguely paintey. So I’ll stop thinking about it.

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I had a place holder labeled ‘Politics’ but I can’t remember what I was going to say. So I’ll just sit here and look at pictures of Sarah Palin.

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T’udder day I was playing some tennis. It took a long time to get back in the rhythm, since it’s been about 3 weeks since the last Outing. We play ‘tard tennis, which is hella fun (ping pong scoring, using only half the court and all underhand serves) and each of us won a game. Then we decided to play ‘real’ tennis (which looks horribly unreal next to the people on the next court, who can serve and return more than once in a row). 3 serves in, I reach for a ball and whack it with all my puny might. The racket drops from my fingers like it’s on fire, and my bicep bunches up. I’ve pulled a little muscle that lives between the bicep and tricep on the outside of my arm. Friggin’ OW!

2 ice packs and a good night’s sleep later, I can pinpoint the injury – but it hasn’t bothered me. Phewf. That’s my work arm, and I can’t have it out of commission.

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Last night, my neighbor brought over a big ‘ol keg of Heineken. Just gave it to me, just because. He got one for himself the night before, and he says some guys were selling them on the roadside for cheap. He’s pretty sure they’re stolen kegs. But it was still nice of him to bring me one.

Haven’t tapped it yet, maybe I’ll save it for the big Halloween Party.

Speakinnawhich, we’re having a halloween party. You’re invited, all 3 of you who read this blog.

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Here’s a collection of funnies that make me giggle, and most could be told in the kind of churches I frequent.

Who was the most flexible man in the Bible? Abraham, because he tied his ass to a tree and walked up a mountain.

What’s the official car of the Bible? A Honda, because the apostles were all in one accord.

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

Joseph and Miriam were the church’s most elderly couple. During one service, Miriam leaned over to Joseph and whispered, “I just let a silent fart! What should I do?” Joseph replied, “Turn up your hearing aid!”

(In my own experience, there was an old guy named Bill that used to sit in the front row at the church I attended. Twice or thrice per sermon, he’d lean over on one cheek and let one rip against the bare wooden pew. My friends and I would sit behind him and try to predict his ‘movements’ – it was great fun for a young’un).

Okay, these could possibly not be welcome at your church, but they still make me cringe with silliness:

What do lesbians need to get married? A liquor license (it helps if you say it aloud).

A rabbi and a priest are walking down a sidewalk, and they see a young boy across the street. The priest says without thinking, “Boy, I’d like to screw him.” The rabbi replies, “Out of what?”

On that note, ‘bye.

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